SEtalk: The Science of Saying Thank You

When did you last thank someone properly? Not a quick thanks at the door, but really thanking them. Most of us can't remember. I couldn't either! Today, I want to show you why it matters. In 2003, two psychologists tried a simple experiment. Every week, one group wrote five things they were grateful for. Another group wrote about their daily problems. After ten weeks, the grateful group felt better about their lives! They were more hopeful, and they even exercised more! About an hour and a half more every week. In 2005, another team tested something called a gratitude visit. You write a letter to someone you never properly thanked. Then you visit them and read it out loud. It gave the biggest happiness boost of all the exercises tested! And the good feeling lasted for about a month! So why does saying it out loud matter so much? Because a thank-you is a gift with two sides. It helps the person who hears it, and it helps the person who says it. Gratitude that stays in your head is only half finished. So why don't we do it more often? We worry it will feel strange, or they won't remember us. But another study found that we get this wrong. People who get our letters feel much happier than we imagine. Last spring, I finally tried it myself. I wrote to Mrs. Hall, my old school math teacher. My hands were shaking as I read it to her. When I finished, she was crying. Then she opened a box full of old cards! She had kept every thank-you her students ever sent. That one visit made my whole week brighter! So here's my challenge for you. Tonight, before bed, write down three good things. And this month, write one letter, and read it out loud. So, thank you. And I really mean it.