SEtalk: The Science of Saying Thank You

When did you last thank someone properly?

你們上一次好好地向一個人道謝，是什麼時候？

Not a quick thanks at the door, but really thanking them.

不是在門口隨口一句「謝謝」，而是真心誠意地向對方道謝。

Most of us can't remember. I couldn't either!

我們大多數人都想不起來。我也想不起來！

Today, I want to show you why it matters.

今天，我想讓大家看看這為什麼很重要。

In 2003, two psychologists tried a simple experiment.

2003年，兩位心理學家做了一個簡單的實驗。

Every week, one group wrote five things they were grateful for.

每個禮拜，一組人寫下五件讓他們心懷感謝的事。

Another group wrote about their daily problems.

另一組人則寫下自己每天碰到的麻煩。

After ten weeks, the grateful group felt better about their lives!

十週後，感恩組的人對自己的生活感覺更好了！

They were more hopeful, and they even exercised more!

他們更有希望感，甚至運動得更多了！

About an hour and a half more every week.

每週大約多了一個半小時。

In 2005, another team tested something called a gratitude visit.

2005年，另一個團隊測試了一種叫「感恩拜訪」的方法。

You write a letter to someone you never properly thanked.

你寫一封信給一個從來沒好好道謝過的人。

Then you visit them and read it out loud.

然後你去拜訪對方，把信大聲唸給他聽。

It gave the biggest happiness boost of all the exercises tested!

在所有測試過的練習裡，它讓幸福感提升得最多！

And the good feeling lasted for about a month!

而且這種好心情持續了大約一個月！

So why does saying it out loud matter so much?

那麼，為什麼說出口這麼重要呢？

Because a thank-you is a gift with two sides.

因為一句「謝謝」是一份雙向的禮物。

It helps the person who hears it,

它幫助聽到的人，

and it helps the person who says it.

也幫助說出口的人。

Gratitude that stays in your head is only half finished.

只留在腦袋裡的感謝，只完成了一半。

So why don't we do it more often?

那我們為什麼不常這麼做呢？

We worry it will feel strange, or they won't remember us.

我們擔心會很尷尬，或者對方根本不記得我們。

But another study found that we get this wrong.

但另一項研究發現，我們想錯了。

People who get our letters feel much happier than we imagine.

收到我們信的人，比我們想像的還要開心得多。

Last spring, I finally tried it myself.

去年春天，我終於自己試了一次。

I wrote to Mrs. Hall, my old school math teacher.

我寫信給Hall老師，她是我以前上學時的數學老師。

My hands were shaking as I read it to her.

我唸給她聽的時候，手一直在發抖。

When I finished, she was crying.

我唸完的時候，她哭了。

Then she opened a box full of old cards!

接著，她打開了一個裝滿舊卡片的盒子！

She had kept every thank-you her students ever sent.

學生們寄給她的每一份謝意，她都留著。

That one visit made my whole week brighter!

就那一次拜訪，讓我整個禮拜都亮了起來！

So here's my challenge for you.

所以，我要給大家一個挑戰。

Tonight, before bed, write down three good things.

今晚睡覺前，寫下三件好事。

And this month, write one letter, and read it out loud.

還有，這個月寫一封信，然後把它大聲唸出來。

So, thank you. And I really mean it.

所以，謝謝大家。我是真心的。