SEtalk: The Science of Saying Thank You

When did you last thank someone properly?

你们上一次好好地感谢一个人，是什么时候？

Not a quick thanks at the door, but really thanking them.

不是在门口随口一句“谢谢”，而是真心实意地感谢对方。

Most of us can't remember. I couldn't either!

我们大多数人都想不起来。我也想不起来！

Today, I want to show you why it matters.

今天，我想告诉大家这为什么很重要。

In 2003, two psychologists tried a simple experiment.

2003年，两位心理学家做了一个简单的实验。

Every week, one group wrote five things they were grateful for.

每个星期，一组人写下五件让他们心怀感激的事。

Another group wrote about their daily problems.

另一组人则写下自己每天遇到的麻烦。

After ten weeks, the grateful group felt better about their lives!

十周后，感恩组的人对自己的生活感觉更好了！

They were more hopeful, and they even exercised more!

他们更有希望感，甚至运动得更多了！

About an hour and a half more every week.

每周大约多了一个半小时。

In 2005, another team tested something called a gratitude visit.

2005年，另一个团队测试了一种叫“感恩拜访”的方法。

You write a letter to someone you never properly thanked.

你给一个从没好好感谢过的人写一封信。

Then you visit them and read it out loud.

然后你去拜访对方，把信大声读给他听。

It gave the biggest happiness boost of all the exercises tested!

在所有测试过的练习里，它让幸福感提升得最多！

And the good feeling lasted for about a month!

而且这种好心情持续了大约一个月！

So why does saying it out loud matter so much?

那么，为什么说出口这么重要呢？

Because a thank-you is a gift with two sides.

因为一句“谢谢”是一份双向的礼物。

It helps the person who hears it,

它帮助听到的人，

and it helps the person who says it.

也帮助说出口的人。

Gratitude that stays in your head is only half finished.

只留在脑子里的感激，只完成了一半。

So why don't we do it more often?

那我们为什么不常这么做呢？

We worry it will feel strange, or they won't remember us.

我们担心会很尴尬，或者对方根本不记得我们。

But another study found that we get this wrong.

但另一项研究发现，我们想错了。

People who get our letters feel much happier than we imagine.

收到我们信的人，比我们想象的要开心得多。

Last spring, I finally tried it myself.

去年春天，我终于自己试了一次。

I wrote to Mrs. Hall, my old school math teacher.

我给Hall老师写了信，她是我上学时的数学老师。

My hands were shaking as I read it to her.

我读给她听的时候，手一直在发抖。

When I finished, she was crying.

我读完的时候，她哭了。

Then she opened a box full of old cards!

接着，她打开了一个装满旧卡片的盒子！

She had kept every thank-you her students ever sent.

学生们寄给她的每一份感谢，她都留着。

That one visit made my whole week brighter!

就那一次拜访，让我整个星期都明亮起来！

So here's my challenge for you.

所以，我要给大家一个挑战。

Tonight, before bed, write down three good things.

今晚睡觉前，写下三件好事。

And this month, write one letter, and read it out loud.

还有，这个月写一封信，然后把它大声读出来。

So, thank you. And I really mean it.

所以，谢谢大家。我是真心的。