SEtalk: Why Humans Still Need Rituals

Picture a small village in the mountains of Spain. It's midnight in midsummer, and three thousand people are crammed into a tiny arena. In the centre lies a carpet of glowing coals. One by one, villagers walk across it — barefoot! This is the fire-walking ritual of San Pedro Manrique. Some years ago, a team of scientists went along to watch. They fitted heart-rate monitors to the walkers and the spectators. What they found was genuinely remarkable. As each walker crossed the coals, their family's hearts began to beat in step with theirs! Strangers watching from the same stands showed no such pattern. The ritual was, quite literally, binding people together. I'll confess that for most of my career, I dismissed rituals as quaint superstition. Relics of a world before science. Something we sensible moderns had rather outgrown. I couldn't have been more wrong. Rituals haven't disappeared. They've simply changed costume. Think of fans singing the same song before every match. Graduation gowns, wedding toasts, birthday candles. None of them is strictly necessary, and that's precisely the point. Their very pointlessness is what makes them meaningful. Rituals slow time down, and they say, "This moment matters." They also help us carry anxiety and grief. Studies even suggest that small personal rituals can steady our nerves before a stressful performance. Which may explain why I tapped this stage three times before walking on. So I'd like to leave you with a modest proposal. Don't abandon the rituals you've inherited. And where they've faded, feel free to invent new ones! A Sunday dinner. A walk every New Year's morning. Because a ritual is simply a promise to keep showing up for each other. Thank you.