SEtalk: What Silence Says

I'd like to begin with a few seconds of silence.

我想先從幾秒鐘的沉默開始。

There. How did that feel?

好了。感覺如何？

I noticed a few of you reaching for your phones!

我看到有幾位已經伸手去拿手機了！

Was it peaceful, or a little uncomfortable?

是覺得平靜，還是有點不自在？

For many of us, silence feels like something's gone wrong.

對我們很多人來說，沉默讓人覺得好像出了什麼問題。

Researchers in the Netherlands studied exactly this feeling.

荷蘭的研究人員專門研究過這種感受。

Volunteers imagined a conversation that suddenly went quiet.

志願者們想像自己身處一場突然安靜下來的對話中。

Just four seconds of silence was enough!

只要四秒鐘的沉默就夠了！

People felt anxious, and they felt rejected.

人們感到焦慮，還覺得自己被排擠了。

Four seconds, and we start to doubt we belong.

短短四秒，我們就開始懷疑自己是否屬於這裡。

But does everyone feel silence the same way?

但是，每個人對沉默的感受都一樣嗎？

In the 1980s, John Graham recorded real business negotiations.

1980年代，John Graham錄下了真實的商務談判。

He counted every silence of ten seconds or more.

他統計了每一次長達十秒或更久的沉默。

Japanese negotiators had about five every half hour.

日本談判者每半小時大約有五次。

Americans had three or four.

美國人有三、四次。

And the Brazilians? Almost none at all!

那巴西人呢？幾乎一次都沒有！

Instead, they interrupted each other all the time!

相反地，他們老是互相打斷！

So what does a silence actually mean?

那麼，沉默到底代表什麼？

That depends on where you learned to talk.

這取決於你是在哪裡學會說話的。

The same pause can say very different things.

同樣的停頓，可能傳達完全不同的意思。

In Finland, friends can sit together without saying a word.

在芬蘭，朋友們可以坐在一起，一句話也不說。

Nobody feels awkward. It's simply comfortable.

沒有人覺得尷尬，只是覺得很自在。

In Japan, a pause often shows respect and careful thought.

在日本，停頓往往代表尊重與深思熟慮。

But in many English-speaking places, silence signals a problem.

但在許多英語系國家，沉默代表出了問題。

Years ago, I flew to Tokyo for my first big deal.

多年前，我飛到東京去談我的第一筆大生意。

I made my offer, and the room went completely quiet.

我提出報價後，整個房間鴉雀無聲。

Five seconds. Ten seconds. I started to panic.

五秒，十秒。我開始慌了。

So I kept talking, and I lowered my own price.

於是我一直講個不停，還自己把價格降了下來。

Later, my host told me, 'We were just thinking!'

後來，接待我的人跟我說：「我們只是在思考而已！」

Silence isn't empty. It's full of thinking.

沉默並不空洞，它充滿了思考。

So here's my challenge for you this week.

所以，這是我給大家這週的挑戰。

When a conversation goes quiet, count slowly to five.

當談話安靜下來時，慢慢數到五。

Ask someone a real question, and then actually wait.

問別人一個真正的問題，然後真的耐心等待。

You might hear the most honest answer of all.

你可能會聽到最真誠的回答。

Thank you.

謝謝大家。