SEtalk: The Trap of "I'll Be Happy When…"

Finish this sentence for me.

請幫我把這句話接下去。

"I'll be happy when..."

「等到……，我就會快樂了。」

When I get the promotion. When I buy the flat.

等我升遷的時候。等我買了房子的時候。

When I finally lose those last five kilos.

等我終於甩掉最後那5公斤的時候。

We've all got a version of that sentence.

我們每個人心裡都有自己版本的這句話。

For me, it was becoming a partner at my firm.

對我來說，就是成為公司的合夥人。

I worked seventy-hour weeks for nine years to get there.

為了走到那一步，我連續9年每週工作70個小時。

And when it finally happened, I was thrilled!

當那一天終於到來，我開心得不得了！

For about a fortnight.

大概兩個禮拜吧。

Then a strange flatness set in.

接著，一種奇怪的空虛感慢慢湧上來。

Nothing had gone wrong, and yet nothing felt any different.

什麼事都沒出錯，可是一切感覺起來都沒有任何不同。

And, almost immediately, I started chasing the next goal.

而且，幾乎是馬上，我又開始追逐下一個目標。

Psychologists have a name for this: the hedonic treadmill.

心理學家幫這種現象取了個名字：享樂跑步機。

However much we gain, we quickly adapt,

不管我們得到多少，很快就會習慣，

and our happiness drifts back to where it started.

幸福感又會慢慢回到原點。

One famous study even looked at lottery winners.

有一項知名的研究甚至調查了樂透得主。

Within a year or so, they were barely happier than anyone else!

大約一年之後，他們幾乎沒有比別人快樂到哪裡去！

Worse, they enjoyed ordinary pleasures less, like chatting with a friend.

更糟的是，他們反而比較難享受平凡的小確幸，像是跟朋友聊天。

One researcher calls this the arrival fallacy.

有位研究者把這稱為「抵達謬誤」。

We believe arriving will make us happy,

我們以為抵達終點就會快樂，

so we keep running towards a finish line that keeps moving.

於是一直朝著一條不斷往後移的終點線狂奔。

So what's the alternative? Abandon ambition altogether?

那還有什麼其他選擇？乾脆完全放棄企圖心嗎？

Not at all. I still set goals.

完全不是。我現在還是會訂目標。

But I've stopped making my happiness wait for them.

但我不再讓自己的快樂等它們實現了。

These days, I measure a good week differently.

現在，我用不同的標準來衡量這一週過得好不好。

Did I learn something? Did I laugh with my daughter?

我有沒有學到東西？有沒有跟女兒一起開懷大笑？

Did I get my hands dirty in the garden?

我有沒有在花園裡弄得滿手是泥巴？

Goals are wonderful for giving life direction.

目標能為人生指引方向，這一點很棒。

But they're terrible places to store your happiness.

但拿來存放你們的快樂，卻是糟糕透頂的地方。

So the next time you hear yourself say, "I'll be happy when..."

所以，下次當你們聽到自己說「等到……，我就會快樂了」，

try finishing the sentence with just one word.

試著只用一個詞把這句話說完。

Now.

現在。

Thank you.

謝謝大家。