Dinner Party: The Guest Who Won't Stop Talking About Crypto

And that's why I moved my entire pension into tokens!

Your entire pension? How terribly brave of you.

Brave? It's simple maths. Traditional money is doomed.

Doomed, you say. Pass the potatoes, would you?

Laugh all you like. In five years, you'll be begging me.

Forty minutes. He's been at it for forty solid minutes.

Ugh, I did try the weather. He pivoted to mining rigs.

Right. Time for a rather more surgical intervention.

Oh no. Darling, please don't spill custard on him.

Tempting... but no. I've a subtler plan in mind.

Rupert, didn't you mention you'd taken up sailing?

I did! Actually, I bought the boat with my gains!

Well, naturally you did. How marvellous.

Oh! Funnily enough, there's a coin just for sailors now—

And where have you sailed to so far?

Well... nowhere yet, if I'm honest.

The market dipped, so I've had to sell the sails.

Ah. A boat without sails. That's rather poetic, really.

Oh dear, I'm sorry. That must have stung a bit.

It did. Truth be told, my wife isn't thrilled either.

Well, you're among friends. No portfolio required here.

Quite. The only currency at this table is gossip.

Ha! Now that's an asset I can get behind.

Splendid! Then do tell us how you met your wife.

Oh, it's mortifying. I fell into a canal, actually.

No way! Were you pushed, or merely clumsy?

I was explaining blockchain to her on a towpath.

Somehow, I find that remarkably easy to picture.

Thank you both. Genuinely, the best evening in ages.

He barely mentioned crypto after pudding. A minor miracle.

Never underestimate a well-timed question, darling.

Remind me never to get on your bad side.

Oh, darling, you've been on it for years.